The holiday season, especially Christmas, can be a challenging time for those grieving the death of someone close. While the world around us seems to be wrapped in joy and celebration, it’s natural for grief to resurface with intensity. Missing someone during a time that’s all about togetherness can bring a sense of isolation or sadness, but there are ways to navigate these feelings and take care of yourself during the holidays.
One of the most important things to remember is that it’s okay to feel whatever emotions come up. You might feel waves of sadness, nostalgia, or even anger, and that’s completely normal. There’s often pressure to stay cheerful because “it’s Christmas,” but grief doesn’t adhere to seasonal expectations. It’s important to allow yourself to experience these feelings without guilt or judgement. You don’t need to force yourself into the holiday spirit if it doesn’t feel right—acknowledging your emotions is the first step toward healing.
If long-standing traditions feel too painful without your person, consider creating new ones that honour their memory. This could be as simple as lighting a candle in their honour, making their favourite holiday dish, or setting aside a moment for quiet reflection. Some find comfort in hanging a special ornament or placing a photo where it can be seen, keeping their memory close during this meaningful time of year. These small acts can provide a sense of connection and help you feel like your person is still a part of your Christmas.
Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to those who understand what you’re going through, whether that’s family, friends, or a support group. Sometimes, talking about your person and sharing memories can bring comfort and even joy amidst the sadness. Even if you don’t feel like being around people constantly, having someone to talk to when the emotions become overwhelming can be a source of relief.
The constant festivities and celebrations of Christmas can also feel overwhelming, and it’s important to remember that it’s okay to take a step back. If you need to, take breaks from the holiday activities. You might find peace in quieter moments, like taking a walk, sitting by the ocean, or simply spending time away from the noise. You don’t have to attend every event or meet every expectation—honouring your own boundaries is essential for emotional well-being.
Self-compassion is another key part of managing grief during the holidays. Grief can be unpredictable, and you may not feel up to doing all the things you usually do. Be gentle with yourself if you can’t keep up with holiday traditions or responsibilities. It’s okay to adjust your plans and prioritise self-care. Small acts of kindness toward yourself—like taking a quiet moment with a cup of tea or resting when you need to—can help you feel grounded.
There’s no right or wrong way to honour your person during the Christmas Season. Some people prefer quiet moments of reflection, while others might want to incorporate their memory into the holiday in a bigger way, such as hosting a gathering to celebrate their life. Whatever feels right to you is the best way to honour them. Remember, it’s okay to experience moments of joy or laughter too—those emotions don’t negate your grief or your love for the person who died.